The term
intuitive eating is becoming more commonplace, but what exactly does it mean, and how can you put it to practice? Intuitive eating is a non-diet approach to managing your health and improving your relationship with food. It’s an eating philosophy and mindset that teaches individuals to honor their hunger and fullness, respect their bodies and live a life without dieting.
While the benefits of intuitive eating are numerous for adults, you don’t have to wait until adulthood to adopt these behaviors. As a parent, there are many things you can do with your child (and infant) to help them grow into independent intuitive eaters.
Why Does Intuitive Eating for Kids Matter?
Children are naturally born intuitive eaters. Yet without meaning to, many parents influence this by micromanaging what, when and how much they eat. This may look like forcing their child to finish their food and by using food as a reward or form of punishment. While these things usually have good intentions, they can unintentionally teach children to ignore their hunger and fullness cues and to begin associating rules with food.
This relationship with food is influenced not just by parents but by society. With so much dieting information and negative food and body talk out there, things like poor body image, chronic dieting and obsession with food, eating disorders and weight issues sadly become the norm for many people.
Most of the proposed solutions about how to feed kids focuses solely on preventing weight and health concerns, while leaving out another crucial issue: maintaining a normal and healthy relationship with food. Raising your child to become (or remain) an intuitive eater takes the emphasis off of just what they eat, and considers how they eat to be just as important. This can potentially save them from experiencing the struggles mentioned above and supports them in having a healthy relationship with food.
How to Raise an Intuitive Eater
Thankfully, with a bit of extra awareness and effort, you can support your child in maintaining their natural intuitive eating habits.
1. Remember your role.
It can be easy for parents to become overly controlling and lose sight of what they are responsible for when it comes to feeding their kids. The “
division of responsibility” is a philosophy developed by Registered Dietitian and feeding therapist Ellyn Satter to address this exact dilemma and help raise a competent, intuitive eater.
According to the division of responsibility, your roles in feeding your child are to:
- Choose what your child eats by preparing and providing it for them
- Decide when your child eats and provide consistent meals and snacks
- Make eating times pleasant and model good eating behaviors
On the other hand, it is your child’s role to:
- Decide if they want the food that is provided
- Decide how much of it they want or need to eat (keeping in mind that they might choose none of it)
- Learn to eat to the foods that you provide and enjoy
By following the division of responsibility, you don’t overly cater to your child’s food preferences or demands, nor obsess about whether they are getting enough (or too much). Remembering these roles helps you learn to trust your child’s intuition and supports their ability to self-regulate.
2. Allow access to all types of foods.
Offering your child plenty of healthy foods like
fruits,
vegetables and
whole grains is important. It is also a good idea to allow them access to desserts and other treats. Much like adults, kids will crave whatever is restricted. Include desserts and other treats regularly to help normalize sugary, salty and fatty foods. This can prevent your child from feeling deprived and overindulging.
3. Let your child be the guide.
Your child's appetite will fluctuate, much like your own. There are times they will want to eat everything you serve and other times when they only want one food group (or nothing at all). Both can be OK! If your child doesn’t want to eat, avoid pressuring them to do so. On the flipside, if your child wants more food than you’re expecting, don’t automatically have seconds or a snack off-limits. Allowing them as much or as little food as they desire helps teach them to be in touch with their bodies by honoring their hunger and fullness levels and nurtures a positive and trusting relationship with food.
4. Be careful with your language around food.
Labeling foods things like “good” and “bad” gives food the wrong connotations. It teaches kids that they should feel good about eating certain things and feel guilt or shame for wanting or eating something they are told is “bad” or forbidden. Instead, work on teaching your child about how food impacts their bodies. You may tell them that some foods provide more nourishment than others, and some are best eaten in moderation. However, emphasize that all foods can fit into a healthy diet. Doing so helps your kids look at food in a more neutral, and less judgmental way and may help them be more accepting and interested in a wider variety of foods.
5. Evaluate your own relationship with food.
Your kids are constantly learning from you. If you follow strict food rules or use hurtful language around food or your body, these can easily translate to your child. It’s important to evaluate and recognize any of your own issues and rules around food and to try not to let them influence how you feed your child.
As a parent, you are impacting the future of your child’s health and life. Helping your child maintain or become an intuitive eater allows them to trust their bodies and live without food rules long after we are there to control the menu. With some patience, trust and a few tweaks, you can raise an intuitive eater.
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