Everyone tells you about the morning sickness. Everyone tells you about the heartburn. Here are 10 things, however, we’re betting will take you by surprise:
- No, your husband didn’t draw a line on your stomach while you were sleeping. One day, about halfway through your pregnancy, you may notice a weird dark vertical line running from your belly button to your pelvis. This “linea nigrea,” like everything else, is due to pregnancy hormones, and it will only grow darker and longer as your pregnancy progresses. Don’t worry—it usually disappears after the baby arrives (though it may take months.)
- He also didn’t draw zig-zags on your hips. Speaking of lines, you may wake up and discover giant purple-reddish lines on your hips, breasts, or anywhere else that has grown rapidly as a result of pregnancy. These, my friends, are stretch marks. You can try to prevent or lessen them with an oil blend of coconut oil, cocoa butter, almond oil and vitamin E oil.
- And no, no one gave you a perm, straightened your hair, or did any other hair treatment to you, either, without you knowing about it! Hair texture changes are very common. That doesn’t make them any less strange! I had poker-straight hair that developed a wave on one side during pregnancy #1—I still have that wave. And some women with wavy hair or curls will end up with finer, straighter hair as a result of pregnancy.
- There also isn’t too much salt in your pasta. Before I knew I was pregnant, I gave a waitress a very hard time about the high salt content in everything I ordered, claiming a half a shaker had to be tossed into my food. Little did I know then that having a salty, metallic taste in your mouth is actually a pretty common symptom of early pregnancy.
- Yes, you do sound different. On occasion, pregnancy can swell your vocal chords. If you feel like you sound “possessed” when you talk…well, you kind of are!
- Yes, your tongue looks exactly like a map of South Africa. Geographic tongue—swelling of the mucous membranes of the tongue, creating a “map-like” appearance—is extremely rare, affecting only about 2-3% of non-pregnant people. When you’re pregnant, though, apparently, all bets are off! Talk to your OB if you have this condition. Sometimes avoiding spicy foods will keep any discomfort at bay.
- No, pregnancy isn’t really a “vacation” from feminine hygiene products. Your monthly visitor may be gone, but heavy vaginal discharge, occasional spotting, and by the end of the pregnancy, a touch of incontinence (peeing when you sneeze) all mark the need for some pads. (Go for a chlorine-free, chemical-free option like Seventh Generation. You will need them for about a month post-partum, anyway, when things really get heavy, no pun intended.)
- While you’re buying pads, you might need some breast pads, too. You were expecting your milk to come in a few days post-partum. Who knew you’d get a little preview a few months pre-delivery?
- And it’s too bad they don’t make mouth pads…because you are drooling. And not just over the crazy chocolate covered bacon dessert at the bakery (or whatever weird item that you are craving these days). You’re genuinely walking around with more saliva in your mouth. Fun times!
- Sex dreams. Need we say more? Well, we will. You could have the most pure mind in the world, but for some reason, when you are snoozing for two, everything gets crazy. You’ll probably have the expected “I’m afraid I’ll be a bad mother” dreams, where you give birth to a plastic doll without a head (who hasn’t had that dream). But don’t be surprised if your sixth grade history teacher, your ex-boyfriend and some random actor you don’t even find attractive become your co-stars in triple-X dreams all pregnancy long. With your drooling, leaking, crazy hair, map-shaped tongue and lined, growing abdomen, clearly they just couldn’t resist you!
What crazy things have happened to you during pregnancy? Comment below!